Everbody Hurts, Some more than Others
by MurderousPen
Summary: "'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all." - Three Days Grace


**Right, this is a little idea that came to me last night while I was in the throes of coughing, sneezing, having and itchy/runny/stuffy nose, and feeling awful. Anyways, it's not very good, but I hope you enjoy it! (:**

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><p><em>'Cause I'd rather feel pain that nothing at all. - Pain, Three Day's Grace<em>

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><p>It was a useless attempt, he knew. It was a stupid thing that would only end up hurting him in the end. But wasn't that the point? To get hurt in the end, since he couldn't get <em>her?<em> Wasn't the pain the best part of it anymore, since love hadn't factored in on her side since he had created the weapon that she knew would kill Ashley. The weapon she ordered him to build. The weapon she blamed him for building, hated him for building. Any traces of friendship seemed to be gone - it seemed that he was simply a nostalgic peice to keep around - he served no one, had no good use, but he reminded her of old days.

That was when he started liking the pain of her rejections, her stormy eyes, her hateful words. He would even go so far as to say he _enjoyed_ it. It wasn't because he was some sick sociopath, and he wasn't even that depressed ( though her wine cellar would beg to differ). It was simply the fact that he was afraid. He was afraid that, if he didn't feel the pain, the pure agony she put him through every day by being so close, yet so far away, he would feel nothing at all. He would be empty. Broken, like the mirror that lay in pieces on the bathroom floor, slivers and shards of it still sticking out of his skin. It quickly healed, of course, and there were far easier - and less painful - methods of removing the shards of glass from the flesh of his hands. Instead, he chose to rip them out, biting his lip to keep from crying out, yet secretly enjoying the burn, the feel of blood sliding down his skin, rolling towards the floor.

Quickly, too quickly, it healed, and the blood was gone. He contemplated repeating the action, but as he's picking up the shard of glass, ready to slam it into the palm of his left hand, the Big Guy walks in, having heard the noise of shattering glass. He took in the scene before him, momentarily stunned.

The Great Nikola Tesla, vampire and genius, master of electricity, was kneeling on the floor of the guest bathroom, slivers of glass digging into the flesh on his knees, his now-ripped trousers doing little to protect his legs. Bloody shards of glass lay scattered around him, his right hand raised, a dagger-like piece of glass ready to be slammed down into the waiting left palm. A strange glint lit his eyes, something akin to determination set in his grim face. At the Sasquatch's startled grunt, he had raised his hand, looking into Biggie's furry face, challenging him to stay something, anything.

Their eyes remained locked for a few moments, Big Guy's still wide in horror, Nikola's sharp and keen, waiting for his opponent to break.

They didn't have to wait for long, however. A few minutes later, Will rushed in, closely followed by Kate and Henry, who, after Will's abrupt stop, nearly crashed into him.

"What the - ? "

"Tesla?"

"Vlad?"

"Guh-ruh"

Three shocked voices and a grunt from the Big Guy.

Nikola realized that a mis-matched stare-off would not be in his favour, so he fell back to his old ways, digging deep to find a remnant of his old snark.

"Not exactly a place for children, eh? Run along, kiddies - leave the grown-up alone." He even managed to ressurect a ghost of his old smirk.

Kate shuddered, and Henry wrapped his arm around her frame, drawing her behind him, then gently pushing her out the door, back into the guest room which Nikola had claimed as his. Looking back at her, he quickly muttered "Go get Magnus", then returned his gaze to the sight before him.

"_Go get Magnus,"_Telsa laughed, a stangely distorted sound. "Like she'd care. It's not like I did anything wrong - I broke a mirror. I'll pay for it. Problem solved."

"Erm, Tesla, in case you hadn't noticed, you're holding a piece of glass in your right hand, and you're about to stab yourself with it. That doesn't exactly scream 'problem solved' to me."

"Mind your own buisness, Dr. Expendable." Tesla snarled.

"Whoa, Vlad. Chill, dude. What's your deal, anyway? It's not exactly like you to be all angsty and depressed, going around cutting yourself." Henry interjected, crossing his arms and waiting for an explanation.

"_What's my deal, anyway?_" Telsa's eyes widened in disbelief, and once again he laughed, the sound more disturbing this time. "Oh, it's nothing - it's just the last member of the Five that I can actually stand to be around, the woman I _love_, hates me for something that _she_ asked me to create! She _hates_ me, Tiny Tim! And for your information, I simply bashed in a mirror - I don't go around cutting myself. If you had your head out of your stupid comic books, then maybe you'd notice things like that! And you, Dr. Expendable! If you didn't go around playing shrink with everyone, following on her heels like some twisted, lovesick puppy, maybe you'd notice that she's having some serious issues coping with her daughter's death! Or were you unable to figure that out by now?"

Nikola spat the words at them, malice painting his tone blood red, mirroring the blood that stained the reflective bits that surrounded him.

"That's quite enough, Nikola." A shaking voice announced from the doorway.

Helen Magnus had been more than a little shocked when Kate had burst into her office, out of breath and shaking. Her face was devoid of much colour, and her eyes were alight with fear, though it didn't seem to be for her own safety.

"Magnus..Tesla..Bathroom...Mirror...Bleeding...Cutting..." Kate gasped for breath in-between words, chest heaving with the effort of inflating and deflating her lungs.

"Kate, calm down, alright? Wait until you've gotten your breath back, then you can tell me." Helen had to admit, Kate's words had frightenred her at first. Then, of course, she realized that it was Nikola, and she didn't care about him. Couldn't care about him. He had built the weapon that could have killed her only child!

_Under your orders_, a niggling voice in the back of her mind told her.

It was wrong to blame Nikola, of course, and while one part of her brain was trying to convince her that, the other part was working just as hard - if not harder- to convince her that it was all his fault, that he didn't have to listen to her, that he could've done the impossible, that he just wanted to see her hurting.

_But why would he want that?_That annoying little voice was back again, trying to tell her the truth. After all, hadn't Nikola confessed that he loved her while they were in Rome? Hadn't she flinched away from him? Hadn't she seen the hurt that crossed his face for mere seconds before it was replaced by an impassive mask? Hadn't he confessed that he loved her other times as well? She had always thought it in jest, but obviously, she had been wrong.

_He could be retaliating for your rejection_, The silken voice whispered inside her mind, trying to convice her that it was right. After all, it did have a point - she had rejected him many a time. Couldn't the fact that he built the weapon for her - and not denied her offer, as any friend should, as any friend would - be his form of retribution?

_But the weapon didn't kill Ashley. She transported herself into the EM shield, knowing fully well what would happen. _The other voice was at it again, trying to convince her that Nikola only had the best of intentions towards her. It too had a point - the weapon hadn't killed Ashley, Ashley had sacrificed herself.

_But why would he even build it in the first place if he loved you?_ Ah, the silk-voiced one had a point. If he truly loved her, why would he build a weapon that could potentially take her daughter's life?

_Maybe he did it _because_ he loves you? Maybe he didn't want to see you suffer when you realized that Ashley would never truly be herself again? What if he wanted to spare you the heartache? Or what if he was doing as you asked him to, because he loved you that much? Did you ever think of that, or were you too busy thinking of reasons to blame him?_This voice was right. After all, it made sense - the silky voiced one had never given her this idea, and it had probably never planned to. Then, as she thought over what the winning debater had said, her lip started to tremble. It was right - it had to be. What other explanation could there be? Would she not do that same for someone she loved? Would she not do the same for Nikola?

Helen's teeth clamped down onto her lower lip in an effort to make it stop shaking. Glancing over at Kate, it seemed like the girl had recovered somewhat, so she asked the inevitable.

"What's going on, Kate?"

"Right, so Will, Henry, Biggie, and I were just sitting around, talking about the lastest movies, useless stuff like that, when we heard this crash. Biggie was afraid that something had been knocked over, so he left to go check it out and possibly clean it up. After a few minutes, he didn't show up, and the sound didn't seem to be coming from very far away. We were worried that some kind of Abnormal might have got loose and attacked Biggie and maybe even some other residents. So, the three of us walked down the corridor, and then walked on until we spotted one of the guest room doors opened. Well, we recognized it as Tesla's room, and we were worried that maybe one of his experiments went wrong. So we went in the room, and after noticing nothing wrong in there, we went to the bathroom. Biggie was just standing there, and then Will, who was leading, stopped, and I almost ran into him, which made Hank almost run into me. We were both really upset with Will, but then we saw - " Kate paused to take a deep breath, most likely trying to calm herself.

By this time Helen was worried. Was was so awful that Big Guy was rendered immobile and Kate was shaking and pale? Granted, she had been dreadful to Nikola recently - which she prepared to apologize profusely for, probably with something along the lines of a bottle of one of her vintages and a nice dress, on the shorter side. Why not give him something to look at, after all? But she was getting distracted - she had to know what they had found in Nikola's bathroom.

"Go on," she urged, anxious to hear the rest of the story.

"W-we say Tesla on the floor, surrounded by broken glass, quite a lot of it bloodied. Apparently, he had smashed the mirror. We couldn't see any cuts or anything, but that's probably because he's a vampire, right?" Kate noticed how Helen had gone rather pale, and so she continued, rather quickly, "When we looked at Tesla himself, we saw he had a shard of glass in his right hand - which was raised, by the way - and it looked like he was going to hurt himself. Henry told me to come get you, which is why I'm here now. Magnus. Magnus? Magnus!"

Helen's normally fair skin had lost most of it's colour, and she was wobbling a bit on her feet.

"Earth to Magnus!" Kate grabbed the Doctor by the arms and steadied her. "Magnus, you alright?"

It took a moment for the words to sink through to Helen's dulled mind. Nikola. Broken glass. His own blood. Had she driven him to his? Had she caused him so much pain that he felt the need to inflict it upon himself? Had _she_, the woman who had once proclaimed herself to be his _best friend_? Did she do this to Nikola?

"I-I'm fine, Kate. Everything just went a bit pear-shaped for a moment." Helen tried to quell the shaking in her voice. "Take me to him. Quickly." Not bothering to grab any medical supplies - he was a vampire, what use would he have for them? - Magnus ran after Kate as they hurried to the bathroom where Nikola was currently trying to harm himself.

They arrived in the nick of time to hear him speak to Henry and Will.

"What's my deal, anyway_?_" Helen watched his eyes widen. When he laughed, it sent chills racing up her spine. _"Oh, it's nothing - it's just the last member of the Five that I can actually stand to be around, the woman I _love_, hates me for something that she asked me to create! She hates me, Tiny Tim! And for your information, I simply bashed in a mirror - I don't go around cutting myself. If you had your head out of your stupid comic books, then maybe you'd notice things like that! And you, Dr. Expendable! If you didn't go around playing shrink with everyone, following on her heels like some twisted, lovesick puppy, maybe you'd notice that she's having some serious issues coping with her daughter's death! Or were you unable to figure that out by now?" _

Hearing him speak like this to her team was disturbing her, grealtly so. He patronized them, certainly, but never this way. His criticism had always been taken in a joking manner, but now there was no other way to take it but completely seriously.

"That's quite enough, Nikola." Helen was ashamed that her voice trembled as she spoke to him, but she stood her ground, stepping around Henry, Will, and Big Guy, who had backed away at her approach. Making sure they had left not only the bathroom, but the guest room as well, she started towards Nikola, boots crunching over the remnants of the mirror as she approached him.

He trembled as she approached, his eyes wide, this time in vulnerability. Quickly, his eyes narrowed, and his expression hardened, though he still trembled.

"Come to hurt me again, Helen? Come to tell me how much of a failure I am? Come to tell me that I am a disgrace to science? Have you come to tell me that I should never have been part of the Five, part of the Source Blood Experiment? If so, I've heard it all before - I believe you told me those lovely tidbits of information after our last encounter."

The agony in his voice was veiled, but only slightly. It was painfully evident to Helen how deeply she had hurt him. Not only had she been cold to him since Ashley's death, but she had said those things as well? She vaugley remembered meeting Nikola in her wine cellar, remembered angry words that had been spoken. Had she injured her best friend - the man she could possibly love - so badly that he was now trembling in her prescence?

"Nikola," She murmured, kneeling down beside him, wincing momentarily as small pieces of grass scraped her hose-covered legs, bits of it becoming stuck in her skirt. Nikola had flinched when she knelt down, injuring herself to stay by him. He opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it.

"Niko," Helen used her old nickname for him, earning an almost-smlie from the vampire next to her. "Niko, I am so, so sorry. You haven't an idea just _how_sorry I am. Not only have I been rotten towards you, but I've said awful, uncalled for things that were hurtful and completely untrue. I don't want to hurt you, Niko. I never did want to hurt you. I care about you too much to hurt you. So that makes me wonder why you bashed in the mirror and hurt yourself. Why would you do that, Niko?" Her voice was barely a whisper as she finished her sentence and placed her left hand in his right before reaching over, removing the glass weapon from his left hand and taking hold of that one too.

"Because I had to feel _something_."Nikola admitted, looking at their entertwined hands. Helen couldn't help the tears that sprung to her eyes as she heard the child-like tone in his voice. "I was afraid that I wouldn't feel anything is the pain wasn't there. It's always been there, Helen. Since I saw you with Druitt," He spat the name, then continued in a softer vioce, "since he broke your heart, since he made you pregnant. Since you took other lovers, but never me. Since you ignored my declarations of love, wrote them off as jests. Since you wrote _me_ off, Helen. It's been there, even since childohod, with Dane..." He stopped momentarily, taking a few deep breaths before conitnuing. "I was afraid that if that pain wasn't here in some shape, form or fashion, I wouldn't be here anymore. It's childish and stupid, I know." The self-depricating way he said the last words roused something in Helen, riled her against everything bad that had ever happened to him, herself included.

"You listen to me, Nikola Tesla," She said, commandeering his attention. "Don't speak like that ever ?" As she looked into his wide eyes, she softened her voice, trying to make him understand. "You're always there, Nikola. You were always there for me, and I know that I don't deserve it, but I hope you'll always be there for me, from now on, as I will be for you. I'm not losing you, Nikola. You're not a disgrace to science, and frankly, if you weren't part of the Five, or the Source Blood Experiment, I probably wouldn't be either. Niko, I'm sorry I've hurt you. But, as you've so eloquently put it, we all hurt the ones we love." A half-smile tugged at the corner of her lips

Nikola's eyes widened as he considered her words, running them through his head over and over, considering every meaning of them. "Helen, stop quoting me. What do you mean?" If she was lying to him...Trying to make amends the only way she knew how..If she didn't really love him...How would he cope this time?

"I love you, Niko." She murmured, the half-smile turning into a full one.

Sincerity rang in her words. He beamed at her as she smiled. "As I love you, Helen." He paused for a moment, considering something. "Does that mean I don't have to trick you to kiss me anymore?"

Helen couldn't help but laugh at his statement, and he soon joined in. As an answer, she leaned in and pressed her lips to his smiling ones. Pulling back, she smiled at his frown.

"That wasn't a kiss. That was a peck." He pouted, slightly irritated.

"Well, I figured you wouldn't want our first non-tricked kiss to be on a floor covered with broken glass. Besides, you and I both have grit and slivers in our clothes, and it's not exactly comfortable in this situation."

Flashing her a devlish grin, he murmured, "Let's get you out of those clothes then, Miss Magnus."

An image of Nikola with his old moustache came to mind as he spoke such a cheesy line, and Helen couldn't help but burst out laughing.

**Fin.**

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><p><strong>Reviews are like Tesla's porn-stache. ;)<strong>


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